Talking to Your Child About His Misbehavior |
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| News - Parenting |
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After a child misbehaves, one of the things that parents has no idea how to do is confronting the child about it. One thing that you have to remember is that, confronting does not mean being rude or being hostile. Confrontation does not have to be done in shouting and arguing.
After a child misbehaves, one of the things that parents has no idea how to do is confronting the child about it. One thing that you have to remember is that, confronting does not mean being rude or being hostile. Confrontation does not have to be done in shouting and arguing. Confronting rather, is talking to your child honestly. You have to tell your child what you saw and what you know what happened. Confrontation works both ways, so give your child a chance to explain himself and let him share his side of the story. After hearing your child out, let him know your version of the story as well. Compare the two and then work with each other in finding out the truth. There are so many instances when a parent must do it. An example would be to tell the child, "I know that it how you feel and sometimes things do happen. I don't think you're crazy to be thinking that way but here is what I saw. When I got inside the room I saw you grab your brother's hair and I heard you shout to your sister." Or it could also be, "I know that you hate being disturbed when you are reading silently in school but here is what your teacher said. You suddenly threw the book you were reading towards your seatmate." Confrontation is more effective if you have a clear goal in your head. In this case, your goal in confronting your child is to change his behaviors. This is why you have to present your child your version of the story and ask him about his. Knowing what to achieve from the confrontation even before starting one will help you pull your child back on track should he start veering away from the topic you are trying to resolve. However, prepare yourself for the reality that a confrontation does not always end up as planned. There will be times when your child will still upset even after you tried to explain the situation to him. Stick with your goal and do not let his emotions manipulate you into folding. It is your job as a parent to make sure your child behaves properly. The parent in other words has to be reminded of what his purpose is for the confrontation, which is to change the kid's behavior and not his perception of his behavior. Try to remember that in the end what matters is that the child gets to behave well in school. The realization may happen later when he gets older, which is usually the case. Children are not morally upright yet. Nor are they aware of their wrong behavior that's why parents should be there to guide then all the way by being role models. About the Author: Frank Cole Katherine Thompson would love to share about dealing with difficult teen. Learn how to be a more effective parent by visiting her website about my problem child. |
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